In fact, don’t rush to assume that you alone are the problem at all. Put simply, if your sex drive, however high or low you perceive it to be, isn’t a problem for you, then it isn’t a problem at all. It has to be bothersome to you in order for it to be a problem.” “Low sexual desire is when your desire for sex is lower than you would like it to be or lower than it was in the past and that decline in desire is bothersome for you. “When we talk about low sexual desire, it’s only defined personally,” Harper says. It’s also not simply that you want sex less than your partner or partners do. There’s not a set sexual appetite that you could label as objectively big or small. “Then you feel the physical symptoms of arousal that send the message to those neurotransmitters in the brain that then say ‘Hey, we do desire sex.’ This is why erotica works.” Is My Sex Drive Normal?
“If you do have responsive desire, then you can seek things out that your body physically responds to and induce that arousal,” Harper says. Simply knowing this, Harper says, helps many women realize that they don’t really have a problem at all. “Some women who think they have low sexual desire actually just don’t have the spontaneous desire they had in their teens and 20s, but they still have responsive desire,” Harper says. But, experts say, a little reading and education can go a very long way. The cause - and the possible causes are numerous - determines how you should deal with it. Up to 1 in 3 women between the ages of 30 and 59 experience what they perceive to be low libido at some point in their lives. So you feel like you must be the only woman in the world who has this problem. Some doctors’ lack of expertise in this area, Harper says, perpetuates the vicious cycle that might have you feeling broken and alone right now: You’re concerned about your loss of sexual desire.
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“I had not been trained in how to help women with these problems and that’s the experience of most OB/GYNs across the country.” “I had to spend 2 weeks in an erectile dysfunction clinic as a medical student, but I have no comparable training on the women’s health side, even though my focus was women’s health,” says Harper, who created Rosy, a sexual wellness app for women. They never talked about this in medical school. But, though Harper had been to medical school, no one had ever taught her how to address these problems. When Lyndsey Harper, MD, first went into practice as an OB/GYN, she saw scores of women who complained about problems in the bedroom - the most common one being what they considered low sexual desire. Probably not, since it’s not something you hear much talk about. Did you know that nearly half of women report having at least one problem with sexual function - whether its low desire, loss of arousal, trouble having an orgasm, or pain during sex?
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